How To Make Your Point During an Argument

Witchy came spinning through my kitchen after drawing this picture. She couldn’t wait to show it to me. She was especially proud of the octopus.

“Don’t you love it? Isn’t he cute? I want to kiss him,” she giggled. “And I bet he gives the best hugs.”

“Yes, Witchy, he’s adorable. Nice job — again.”

“Thank you. Say, I heard something the other day and — well, I’m not sure what it means.”

“What’s that?”

“Somebody said, ‘The best defence is a good offence’ and this didn’t make sense to me. But then, I am still learning English and it is so hard sometimes.”

“I know, Witchy. It’s not an easy one but you’re doing really well.”

“Thank you, that makes me feel better! So…what does that mean, about a defence?”

“It means that if you want to defend yourself against an impending or possible attack, it’s best to be the one to attack first.”

“That doesn’t sound very nice!”

“It isn’t. It’s bad enough when countries at war do this to each other but a lot of people do it, too.”

“They go to war with each other?” Witchy’s mouth dropped open.

“Well, sort of. Not with missiles and tanks and that sort of thing, but with their words. They try to hurt each other. They forget that they really love and care about each other. They’re so concerned with getting their own points across that they don’t even bother trying to hear the other side of the discussion.”

“How is that supposed to help?”

“Well, it isn’t.”

“That’s so dumb.”

“I agree, Witchy, but sadly, it’s what a lot of people do.”

“What was that story you taught me about the Zen Master?”

“Which one?”

“The one with the university professor who wanted to talk to him about Zen?”

“Oh, yes. Well, the professor began talking about Zen and the Master began pouring tea into a cup. The professor kept talking. The Master kept pouring until tea was overflowing everywhere.

“The professor yelled, ‘That’s enough! No more will go in!’ And the Master said, ‘That cup is you. If you’re so full of your own knowledge, you have no room for new information.’”

“Yes!” exclaimed Witchy. “That sounds kind of like what you said about the best defence being a good offence!”

“Yeah, Witchy, it’s kind of the same. Too often when people disagree, they just hammer home their own points, yammering at each other, mouths open, ears and minds closed, temperatures rising and no one is listening. How do they think they can ever resolve anything like that?”

“Like I said, that’s so dumb.”

“Mm-hmm. Sure is.”