How To Begin Discovering Your Inner Magic
Illustration by Witchy
“Those who don’t believe in magic will never find it.”
― Roald Dahl
This morning, I was journalling at the pretty table in my secluded garden. Shaded by a sturdy old oak, I was still in my dressing gown and easing into the warm, spring day. It was early but the birds were already well into their performances.
As my fountain pen spilled words across the page, I was deep in thought when suddenly, Witchy appeared beside me.
“Oh, good morning, Witchy! I didn’t hear the gate!”
“Good morning! You did look like you were a million miles away.”
I chuckled. “Yes, my journal can transport me to all sorts of places!”
Witchy sat on the grass a few feet from the table. “I remember when my broom used to do that for me.” Her wistful expression spoke volumes. “And then…well…the terrible thing happened.”
“Yes, it sure did, my friend. And I’m so sorry you had to go through that.”
“It was bad enough that the other terrible thing happened…the one that forced me to become vegan! But then without eye of newt and bat wings and all those other ingredients, my spells went wonky and I crashed my poor broom into a tree!”
“I can only imagine how awful that was for you.”
“You should have seen it from the broom’s perspective. I felt so bad. We had been together for centuries. And in an instant, I turned it into kindling.”
“It wasn’t your fault, Witchy.”
“Well, I was the one flying, so yes, it was!”
“I know, but I mean — it was an accident. You couldn’t help it.”
“Yes, I could have. I knew my spells were a disaster. I nearly blew up the whole Transylvania Forest that one time. I don’t know what made me think I could still fly my broom.”
“Well, sometimes bad things happen despite our good intentions. Hindsight is a wonderful thing.”
“What’s that?”
“It’s when you look back at something after it’s already happened. When you’re making a decision, you can’t see how it’s going to turn out. But after you know that part, then you look back and see it with different eyes.”
“Different eyes? I don’t want different eyes!”
“No, no, don’t worry, you’re not getting different eyes. I mean, it’s like having another viewpoint, a different perspective that only comes from having had the experience. You made the best decision you could at that time. But with hindsight, now you know how it turned out so if you could do it again, you wouldn’t fly your broom.”
“I had a dream about it last night. About my broom. And some strange things were happening.”
“What do you mean? Scary strange?”
“Well, not really. A little. More like…confusing. My broom was back in one piece and it looked like it did before I crashed it into that tree. Which reminds me. I hope that tree forgave me. I did ask it at the time but it wasn’t speaking to me. Not that I blame it.”
“I’m sure it did, Witchy. It was probably just in shock. Trees are great healers.”
“Yes, that’s true. Anyway, my broom seemed to be trying to tell me something, only I couldn’t understand what it was saying. And then I was stuck in a closet and I couldn’t get out. But I could hear my broom on the other side of the door.”
“Do you know what it was saying?”
“No…not really. Just a few words, I think. It was more of a — a feeling. It was saying something about magic. Not my old magic but some other magic. I didn’t know what it was talking about. It was explaining but I can’t remember what it said.”
“It’s so frustrating when that happens in dreams!”
“It really is! And I remember feeling like the answer was in that closet and I couldn’t come out until I found it.”
I had been waiting for this for some time. A smile spread slowly across my face. “And did you find the answer?”
“No. I don’t know what the question was, so how could I find the answer?”
“Do you remember when your cauldron told you there was a reason for all those painful experiences in the Forest?”
“Yes. Enchantra is so smart.”
“She is, indeed. She said the reason would become clear but so far, I haven’t seen any reasons anywhere. Not that I’d know what one looks like.”
“I think it might be trying to show itself to you, Witchy. Or at least, one reason.”
“It is? How do you know?”
“Well, it’s a collection of things, like how you wanted to learn to read Tarot cards so they could help you make the best decisions.”
“Decisions have been so scary since my magic got broken. I can never be sure they were the right ones without a spell that made everything turn out well.”
“Yes, but you’ve been learning about that. You make decisions, you see how they turn out, and you learn something from them, even when they don’t turn out as you’d wanted. Like with your broom.”
“That was one of the worst decisions I’ve ever made.”
“And a big, important one was when you decided you’d had enough of the way the witches, vampires and everyone else treated you, and you left the Forest.”
“What’s that got to do with a reason trying to show itself to me now?”
“Well, I’m pretty good at interpreting dreams. I’ve developed the skill over a very long time studying people and doing my spiritual work. And your dream seems entirely symbolic to me.”
“Symbolic of what? I was stuck in a closet and couldn’t find an answer to a question I don’t know! What’s symbolic about that?”
I didn’t want to overload my little blue friend. And it wouldn’t help to feed her all the answers. But unbeknownst to her, her life was about to open up in a way she couldn’t have imagined. I would need to tread carefully.
“I guess the simplest way to explain it is this: You’ve learned a lot since you lost everything and had to start a whole new life. You’ve worked hard to overcome so much and figure out how to live a new way.”
“Yes, tell that to the firemen who are fed up with my attempts to cook. As just one example.”
“You come from a place where the most amazing, magical events can happen. You can turn a tree into a toad or — ”
“Yes, but why would I do that to a perfectly good tree?”
“I’m not saying you would. I just mean…out here, outside the Transylvania Forest, we don’t have magic like that.”
“I know! It was so surprising to me! I couldn’t understand how anyone could do anything without it!”
“But we do have other kinds of magic and — ”
“We do?” She leapt to her feet and twirled on the grass, so excited she nearly toppled into a rose bush. “Why didn’t anyone tell me this before? Why didn’t you tell me this before? What kinds of magic? Do I get it at a shop? Oh, I’m jubilant! Positively jubilant! I learned that word last week and now I have a reason to use it! Can I fly my broom again? Well, not my broom. But another one? Oh, boy! Magic! Does Enchantra know about this? When can I start?”
“Hold on a minute, Witchy,” I smiled, enjoying her enthusiasm. “You’re getting way ahead of things.”
She stopped twirling. Her face fell. “Is this the part where you tell me there’s no magic after all?”
“No, it’s just — look, it’s complicated. I’m trying to keep it simple, okay?”
“Okay,” she replied, a tad grumpily. “But I think I’m not going to like it.”
“I think you will. You just have to trust me, all right?”
“All right.” She stared at the grass, petting a tiny dandelion as if it were a kitten.
“You’ve been working on the first kind of magic and you didn’t even know it.”
She glanced up at me, her mouth falling open in surprise. “I have? How could I do that?”
“You’ve been learning about yourself, Witchy. All the things that could only be discovered when your magic had been stripped away. And when everything familiar was gone. Sometimes we have to go through those kinds of experiences to discover who we really are and what we’re made of.”
“I was made of Magical Blue Tree.”
“Yes…you were. I mean it in a different way. I mean, we discover our strengths. We learn about our fears, where they come from, how to get over them. We learn that we can do a lot of things we never would have believed possible. And as we learn, we grow.”
“Um…I’m not any taller.”
“I don’t mean physically. We expand on the inside. We find out what we like, or don’t. We learn how to take risks and make decisions. We grow in confidence and skill.”
“So when do we get to the magic? I want the magic!”
“That is the magic, Witchy!”
She looked like I’d hit her with a two-by-four. “That’s it?”
“Well, in a nutshell, yep. Pretty much.”
She stared at me. For a long time. Blinking now and then. “I don’t think I like this kind of magic.”
“I said it’s only the first kind, okay? There’s more. But you have to walk before you can run.”
“I can walk and run! I’m ready for the magic!”
“I mean…there’s a lot for you to learn. You’re on the right path, Witchy. You’re on a journey of self-discovery and I can promise you, there’s plenty of magic waiting for you.”
“So what’s this got to do with my dream?”
“Well, it’s not for me to tell you.”
“But you said you knew!”
“I do. That’s not important. What matters is that you know, and that you figure it out for yourself. Trust me, Witchy. You will understand when you’re ready.”
She rolled her eyes and drew in a deep breath. “Okay,” came her exasperated reply. “Could we at least make blueberry muffins? That always cheers me up!”
“Anything for you, Precious. Come on,” I grinned, extending a hand to help her up from the grass. “You gather what we need and I’ll get dressed.”
And with that, we headed inside my cottage.